


Fire Escape

by InfiniteFreedom



Series: Songs While You Were Gone [1]
Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Angst, Death, F/F, Pain, Shaw says the words, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 16:34:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3943822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfiniteFreedom/pseuds/InfiniteFreedom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It took me a while to figure out you took the fire escape.</p>
<p>Now I'm coming too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fire Escape

**Author's Note:**

> Another angsty fic based on the amazing song Fire Escape - Half Moon Run...and some part of me that always thought Root would be the sacrifice. 
> 
> Seriously listening to the song and writing this got me to ugly sobbing.

Hey Dark Eyes,  
Rest with me while I drift closer to sleep.  
But still can not,  
Still can not find no peace.  
………..  
You take the fire escape,  
Run down the street to the church. 

\---------

It's how it has to be. 

She has to go. She has to leave. 

I want to believe her. I want to believe what she says is true. I want to have the faith she has, I want to believe so badly that it has to be like this. 

Anything better than this. 

Anything better than the feelings sitting at the pit of my stomach, threatening to explode. I'm a ticking grenade, and she's my pin. 

I'm a gun, and she's the bullet. 

And a gun is fucking nothing without a bullet. It can still harm, sure, but if someone wanted to hit someone hand to hand, they wouldn't have gotten the gun in the first place. 

I have this inexplicable urge to wrap my arms around her, keep her there and force her to stay, breathe life into her, because anything is better than this damn it. 

I want to tell her to drop everything and come with me, we can go away, just live, just stay, and I'm so scared at the thought. 

So scared of realizing just how much I'd do to stop her. I would leave with her. I would sell my soul to the devil. 

Just stay, don't leave, don't leave me.

I would betray everyone, I fucking would, and I'm not proud of it. But I can't. 

Anything is better than this. 

She's a murderer, and I'm a murderer, and we're sinners, because the Bible says 'Thou shalt not kill.'

 

We have to stick together, because 'To kill somebody is to kill a living being made in God's image.' 

And if we go to hell we'll go together, not like this, and I fucking hate you for doing this.

And we kill God every day, for I don't believe in any, and the one she does believe in I don't trust. 

I don't trust Her when she says it's for the best. I want to scream and shout and hurt her for hurting me like this. 

She breaks my heart with those eyes and I hate her, oh I do. I wish I could go back and kill her that day when I shot her. I wish I could go back and fucking put an end in her life before she did this, before she turned me into this. 

I fucking hate her.

I want to punch her and hold her at the same time, I want someone to tell me that it's not okay to feel this way, that I'm not supposed to feel so fucking empty, so fucking blank, so…so much.

I wish he, that man with the glasses didn't look at me with sympathy, pure sorrow and terror, I wish my partner wouldn't do the same. 

I wish the stupid fat Detective Fusco, wasn't shocked, horrified. 

I wish one of them did something anything. 

Why aren't you fucking helping me Reese?

I want to kill him too, I want to kill them all besides her, because she has to pay for making me this...liability.

I want her to stop being so fragile now, I want to stop myself from shedding a single tear. The first tear I've shed in my life, my father would be proud. 

I'm not, I loathe it, just like I loathe her when her wet finger comes to wipe it away weakly, and I remember her kissing that spot some days ago. 

I remember her smiling, and flirting with me, and fucking me, and I wonder if this could be her, if this could be my lover, my salvation, my prison. 

I wonder if she knew, and I hate her. 

I hate her, I hate her, I hate her.

I hate her, and I despise the tears now streaming freely down my face, as she smiles sadly, as she smiles a smile I have to see again, I want her to stay, please stay. 

I want a God, I need to pray, and I need her to stay, I need her to stop smiling and get the fuck up, and I need the rain to stop pouring at us like it's mad, like it's as mad and desperate as I am, because it's not. 

Because no one isn't, no one feels the way I feel right now, no one has to see the one string keeping them attached to life being cut in their arms. 

I don't want you to leave. 

Stay! Stay and I swear I'll be better, I swear I'll let you kiss me good morning, I'll let you steal my food, I'll let you make love to me. 

Just stay please! 

"Please don't leave me..." I'm pleading, and Sameen Shaw never pleads, but I am now, and if you stay I'll forget who I am for you, I'll be whatever you want me to be, just stay. 

"Don't leave me, don't leave me, don't leave me, don't leave me." I whisper again and again and she's crying now and I hate her. 

And I want her to stay just so that I can kill her myself, I want to love her, I want to try, I want to make love to her. 

I want her, I want her, I want her. 

I want you. 

"Don't do this please, don't..." my voice breaks, my tears have become one with the rain and WHY ISN'T ANYONE DOING ANYTHING ABOUT THIS? 

I don't want the world to go on, I don't want for anyone to survive, I want them all dead, I want them all to suffer like I do.

I want her.  
I want her.  
I want her.  
I want her.

"Root…" I breathe.

\---------

Hey murderer,  
The killing keeps us close enough.

\---------

"Don't do this to me..." I whisper and I'm kneeling over her body, her head on my feet, and I'm curled up in her, I want her to stay. "You selfish woman don't you dare."

She shakes her head, and I scream, I am screaming till I can't feel my throat anymore, I scream for her to get up, and fight, I scream at them, at her, at Her, at me, at the sky, in the middle of a street leading to nowhere, nowhere if she wasn't there with me. 

She's not there, and I can't, I can't feel this way. 

\---------

Hey murderer,  
Every breath you steal is a breath that I breathe.

\---------

"Sameen." she's choking and I'm choking, and I hate her for this, I hate her for everything. 

"I love you."

\---------

Rest with me while I drift closer to sleep.  
But still can find no peace. 

\---------

I hate her for speaking these words, as I hate her for not expecting anything in return.

"I love you too." I breathe and she's smiling again, and she's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life, even now, even as she's getting in the boat to Hades.

"I love you, I love you, I love you…"

I imagine how it would be if I said all those things in her mouth, so I fall, and I kiss her and I tell her I love her repeatedly like I should have done this whole time because anything is better than this. 

"Don't go Root, don't go..."

\---------

You take the fire escape. 

\---------

Rain pours harder when she closes her eyes, and I'm kissing cold lips right now, I'm screaming and gasping and choking at ears that can not hear me, I'm looking at nothing, I'm looking at my everything turned to blankness, I'm staring into my own broken heart.

\---------

It rained through the night. 

\---------

"No no no no no no no. "

NO NO NO NO.

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU. 

\---------

Hey murderer.

\---------

She's so light in my arms, and we're both so fragile and small, and I would have ran away with her, I would have let her kiss me good morning, I hate her and I can't hate her anymore because she's not there. 

You murdered me, you murdered my soul.

\---------

You take the fire escape.

\---------

You left me, you left me.

I'm broken, I'm shattered, I'm nothing without you. I need you, I love you, I hate you.

I hate your smile, I hate your eyes, I hate your hair, I hate your body, I hate how well we fit together now, how perfectly you filled my missing puzzle pieces, I hate how now you took them all with you, you took me with you.

You're gone and I'm dead. 

I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead. 

I point it at my head and I shoot and I'm dead, and I'm near you, and you're breathing and I don't hate you anymore because I love you and I love you and I love you.

Because you're here and now we can walk, and maybe we go to hell but I know heaven is wherever I'm with you because anything is better than this. 

Anything is better than this.

\---------

Run down the street to the church. 

\---------

I'm coming. I'm coming.

You left me but I'm coming. 

\---------

You take the fire escape. 

\---------

I'm here, you're here, and everything is okay again. 

\---------

Run down the street to the church.

\---------  
Still can not find no peace,  
But still can not.  
Rest with me while I drift closer to sleep.

…..………

 

Hey Dark Eyes.


End file.
